Ticktock by Dean Koontz

Title:  Ticktock
Author:  Dean Koontz
Pages:  338
Genre:  Supernatural Horror / Thriller / Comedy
Publisher:  Ballantine, 1996
Series:  Stand Alone

"At this point, no one alive is capable of grasping the enormous dimensions of my confusion."

Synopsis: Tommy Phan is a 30-year-old Vietnamese-American detective novelist living in Southern California, and a chaser of the American Dream. He drives home his brand-new Corvette one day to discover a strange doll on his doorstep. It's rather like a rag doll, but is covered entirely with white cloth, having no face or hair or clothes, little more than a doll blank. Where the eyes should be, there are two crossed stitches of black thread. Five sets of crossed black stitches mark the mouth, and another pair form an X over the heart.

He brings it into the house. That night, he hears an odd little popping sound and looks up to see the crossed stitches over the doll's heart breaking apart. When he picks up the doll, he feels something pulsing in its chest. Another thread unravels to reveal a reptilian green eye --and not a doll's eye, because it blinks.  Tommy Phan pursues the thing as it scrambles away into his house -- and then is pursued by it as it evolves from a terrifying and vicious minikin into a hulking and formidable opponent bent on killing him.

Review:  Well, this book was quite a mix.  It was funny and scary and thrilling and full of magic (and mentions aliens, too!).  The scary parts were really scary.  The funny parts were laugh-out-loud funny.  The magic was a little odd but the explanation towards the end satisfied me.

My only complaint is this book took me five days to finish.  Five days.  There was so much going on and so much of it was completely beyond my understanding that I kept re-reading passages to be sure I hadn't missed something.  By the end, I knew what I didn't know at the start, but by then it had already taken me five days.

Still, I loved the characters.  Tommy and his girlfriend Deliverance and her dog, Scootie, were great.  The secondary characters included various family members and they were fun as well.  The demon inside the doll was not fun.  He was the reason I didn't read this book too close to bedtime.  Here there be nightmares.

Rating:  6.5 / 10

Gil's All Fright Diner by A. Lee Martinez

Title:  Gil's All Fright Diner
Author:  A. Lee Martinez
Pages:  268
Genre:  Comedy Horror
Publisher:  Tom Doherty Associates, 2005

"Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.'  He explained it to me once.  Didn't really pay close attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit'."

Synopsis:  Welcome to Gil’s All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer. . . .Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren’t planning to stick around--until Loretta, the eatery’s owner, offers them one hundred dollars to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl’s a vampire, this looks right up their alley.  But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone’s out to drive Loretta from the diner, and more than willing to raise a little hell on earth if that’s what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the diner’s troubles, they’ll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig Latin.And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too.  Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil’s All Fright Diner will tickle your funny bone--before ripping it out of its socket!

His canine mind knew that on the other side of that light was a paradise of unending liver-flavored treats and things in constant need of being peed on and slow rabbits.

Review:  So far this year I've had Science Fiction Fluff and now Comedy Horror.  What a completely great, fabulous book this is.  A quick read, guaranteed to put a smile on your face.  But, don't think it won't be a good story because, all jokes aside, it is a pretty darn good story too.

Between Loretta, the overweight diner owner; Earl, the scrawny vampire with an overbite and low self-esteem; Duke, the big, bulky werewolf who was a truck driver in his past life; and Tammy, the high school hottie who is practicing black magic, the cast is so completely engaging!  Add to them, Cathy, the ghost who falls in love with Earl, and Chad, Tammy's hormone-crazed boyfriend, and the fun just keeps coming.  My favorite character, however, was Napoleon, the ghost terrier -- he's got heart and balls in equal measure.  Toss in the fact that the end of the world is coming unless the unlikely heroes prevail, and you've got a winner.

I have had this book sitting on my shelf for ages and have avoided it because I just wasn't sure it would be good.  I was so very wrong.  I'd give it 20 stars, just for it's originality.  I will absolutely be looking for more books by this author.

Rating:  10 / 10